A few weeks ago my best friend and her husband found out they had lost their baby when they went for their second routine ultrasound. The doctor wasn't able to find a heart beat.
I got a text from her cancelling a planned catch up for the weekend, letting me know what had happened and telling me she'd call soon. I replied saying I was here if she needed a shoulder, someone to talk to or someone to take her mind off things.
Such terrible news :(
I hadn't heard from her a week and a half later so I thought I might go and drop flowers off at her place. I would have had them delivered but they are living with her parents at the moment while their new home is being built and I couldn't remember the street number. I dropped them off and messaged her to let her know I'd left them outside the gate. I didn't want to encroach if she wasn't ready to talk but I wanted to let her know I was thinking of her.
She replied that they had been at the doctors but had still not got any answers about what had gone wrong and wasn't up for a chat yet.
That was a week and a half ago.
So my question is, what do I do now? I want to text her again to see how she is going, obviously really not good I know, but still. I want to be there for my friend. But I don't want to bother her if she is not ready. I've never been pregnant and I can't even begin to imagine how she is feeling right now.
From my own experience, talking about my illness was a pretty hard thing at first. I only told very few people and it was very stressful and difficult. That sort of news can change a relationship, particularly if a person doesn't respond in an expected way, it can feel quite hurtful when you don't receive the support you need at a time like that from a trusted friend. I know an illness is nothing at all in comparison to the grief of losing a baby but it can certainly be just at relationship changing. My point is, sometimes it's easier to talk about things when someone else brings it up.
Yes? No? Thoughts?