Friday, 1 June 2012

Things I have learnt about hospital #1

I've been going through my draft pile of posts and came across this one which was just sitting around waiting for more nuggets of gold to be added.  Since I don't plan on going back to hospital Any Time Soon (or Later), I figured I might as well post it.  I can always do a #2 if I've just jinxed myself...

Private health insurance is the bomb. Really.

Private hospitals are five billion times better than public hospitals, noticed particularly when you are being transfer from private to public.  And when you are eating the hospital meals.

Take your own pillow.  The first time I was there MR brought mine in for me when he arrived home.  Oh the bliss.

Ask for print outs of your blood test results.  You will learn loads.  For example, I finally learnt how to properly read and understand the greater than and less than signs ( < > ) that I never understood in high school.

If you are good (and not toooo sick) they will let you go out for the day.  So long as you come back.

Beeping is fucking annoying.  (Okay, I did already know this)

It is amazing what you can actually cope with being poked and prodded in and pulled out of your body.

Nurses will not believe you when you try to convince them that the nasogastric tube (that you pulled out) fell out.

Nasogastric tubes are the worst invention of all time EVER.  I do not blame anyone for pulling their own out.  I won't go so far as to encourage it, but oh the relief!*#(!#^!@^! (until they stuck it back in)

Many medical people think they are Good At Putting In Canulas.  They are Not.

Those sticky dots are their three goes on that arm before they got it in,
there are two matching sticky dots on the other arm...)

Please feel free to add your own random/ironic/sarcastic/serious observations from your hospital stays.


Baa-Me Kniits said...

At least you are looking on the bright side :-) The same for vet hospitals....the vet nurse is so much better at getting a vein than the vet because she does most of them! Here's to not going back to hospital for a long, long time :-)

Michelle said...

I think you've just about covered it, apart from the hospital food - takes on a whole new topic on its own really. I think I use to want to go to hospital when I was a kid just so I could have those Peters vanilla icecream tubs. I dont remember any other meals or anything, just the icrecream!

CurlyPops said...

You make me chuckle!

OK I'm adding - even though they tell you they've seen it all before, they haven't seen mine.

Be nice to the nurses and the tea lady - it's good karma

Wendy Sice said...

Oh, I cringed during your post remembering the pain!
My contributions:

Visiting hours is a silly concept. People get there when they get there - let them visit!

It is difficult to trust a doctor who is nodding off while talking to you near the end of a 36 hour shift.

Some nurses assume you know what you're doing and that you can look after yourself when you have had your first baby.

I could go on indefinitely, but I'm sure people have lots of negative observations about school teachers too, lol!

2paw said...

Oh yes, definitely identify the best needle stickerer inner and ask for them all the time. I also recommend having a friends who is a nurse they can expedite things!!
Yes, I always look at the normal range and see how far in, or out, side of it I am!!