I often have moments in life when I look back and realise that something that happened or didn't happen was meant to be because it led me straight to now. I am not religious at all but I do have some tentative beliefs that there is something out there watching over us.
I've been doing the same lately in regards to children. Ten years ago if I had seen my future and realised I still didn't have kids at the age of 30 I would have been most upset. The last few years I have been feeling clucky and as if that little timer in my ovaries is ringing loud enough to wake anyone. But not now. Now I am realising that it was meant to be. I am happy to wait a little bit longer.
If I had children I would not be able to have laid in bed all day today in my pyjamas with a book and my computer. I would not be able to have peanut butter on toast for dinner without feeling guilty. I would not have been able to head down to the ED the other night without having to rely on family or friends assistance. (I'm sure they would have been happy to give it but I hate asking for help.) I would not be able to spend time being quiet and relaxing and sleeping in and reading and not worrying if I haven't picked up the mess off the floor. I wouldn't be able to afford a cleaner either because no doubt if I had children I would not be working. And my cleaner is currently my godsend.
On the other side of the coin, of course I'm sure I would be managing just fine if I did have kids but I'm no longer hearing that timer buzzing loudly at all. I'm quite happy to be able to spend my time just taking care of me.
Do you feel the same? That life has a vague path set out for you and that sometimes certain things happen for a reason?
6 comments:
I totally believe everything happens at the right time and in the right place. I didn't start having children until I was 38 so plenty of time to sit back and enjoy your peace and solitude....do I sound envious? ;-) I am sure your recovery back to good health would have been much slower had you been running around after a hoard of little ones :-)
We eat toast for dinner quite a bit around here... I don't feel too guilty about it any more. After you've busted your guts making creative and tasty meals only to have smalls turn their noses up at it you don't feel so bad taking it easy... and of course if you serve the toast with baked beans then there is nothing to feel guilty about at all: protein + veg :)
What will be will be... easy in theory but for me harder in practice!
Thanks for popping by my blog last week, I LOVE your new kitchen aide and the colour you picked is gorgeous. I too think everything happens for a reason and enjoy those days lying in bed they certainly disappear once there is a child in the house, toast for dinner though, happens at our place quite frequently, you definitely don't have to give that one up for kids ;)
I believe that things happen for a reason. But I especially love the way you think. So positive despite what you are going through. Major stuff, and definitely nothing to sniff at.
Big hugs to you as you get through this.
xx
Yes, I agree, that is exactly the way I feel. I could never have been ill and looked after children. Labradors I can do.
Things happen for a reason: Fate or Karma, whatever you believe in. You get the right amount of things you can deal with, more or less!!
Thank you so much for sharing!
To my opinion, EVERYTHING happens for a reason, even though we might not see it :)
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