Love

I am truly truly blessed with the most amazingly wonderful caring loving man in my life.

MR, Mr Rock, who has always been my rock but has been really outdoing himself in the rock department since my diagnosis, decided that being at work while I am in hospital was highly uncool and took some time off and flew in early, all without telling me. 

On Sunday night I finally finally hit that wall that I have been cautiously tiptoeing alongside since the end of March.  Up until the throwing up began I had been pretty positive about being diagnosed with CML and fairly confident that I could carry on my life as normal.  With this hospital admittance and my results continuing to go up, Monday night saw me having a good old cry at about 2am after unsuccessfully trying to get to sleep for a few hours and being madly itchy from the jaundice (I am a delightful shade of yellow, particularly my eyeballs)  Of course, after the cry I felt a bit better and finally got to sleep at about 4am after an SMS to MR (who was on nightshift) saying something along the lines of 'This sux. Stupid liver. Stupid head won't turn off. Stupid mutant blood.*'  The next morning at about 11, MR sticks his head around the hospital door!  Instead state of mind fix!  We'd already had a discussion about how I could just say if I wanted him to come home but I told him unless I was seriously ill I wouldn't do that and there's not much he can do for me while I'm in hospital anyway.  I have issues with becoming burdensome to him.  But I am SO Soooooo glad he came home.  I feel very very loved.

Last night I got transferred from Hollywood Private Hospital to Charlie Gairdner's to be on their liver ward under the care of a team of liver specialists because my results were still going up.  Some of the numbers were over 1000 times higher than they should be.  Today I was lucky enough to experience a liver biopsy in a very novel way - through a vein in my neck.  They were concerned about my blood not clotting very well and a chance of haemmorhage if they went through my side so through the vein in my neck they went.  Not the most pleasant of experiences to say the least.  Thankfully I got a double dose of twilight drugs and local anaesthetic. 

Today's blood tests showed some of the numbers were dropping a little bit which is good news, hopefully there will be a bigger drop tomorrow.  Also hopefully the biopsy shows no signs of liver failure, only damage.  Lots of fingers and toes crossed because I would really like to just go home and spend some time soaking up some love from my boy. 

Now that is the best medicine my liver, and crazy stressed and anxious brain, could ask for.





* mutant blood because my disease involves a translocation of chromosone 9 and 22, essentially meaning my DNA/blood has mutated. Or if not really, that's what we've taken it to mean.  My sister and I call each other 'Poo', short for Poobum, however I am now 'X-poo' (X derived from XMen)