Big hopes

Do you have big hopes for something? Something big? Or even big hopes for something little?

At the moment, my big hopes revolve around a trip down south this weekend with MR.  We haven't been away anywhere since January last year (not that long I know) before I got ill.  But a Whole Lot Of Shit has happened since then so it really feels like For-Eeeeeeeee-Ver.  And a weekend away is really just what we need.

Unfortunately, my liver is being a Super Poohead.  It seriously has some whinging issues.  Noooo, I don't want those drugs, I'm going to sulk seems to be its fairly constant cry.  They had to take me off the antifungal drugs a few months early because my liver just wasn't coping.  And now I've started on my leukaemia drugs and it is having quite a similar whinge.  Now, I know I really shouldn't complain because my liver is doing enough for both of us this liver saved my life.  I know.  I am Really Truly Grateful.  Even though I do sound a bit ungrateful, I'm not.  Just venting.  But I would just like a bit of a break from elevated liver function tests and blood tests.  In the past 4 weeks I have had 16 blood tests.  Two weeks of Mon-Fri tests and two weeks of three times a week tests.  I am tired of blood tests.  My veins are Very Tired of blood tests.  I managed to convince the doctors that this week I only needed tests three times rather than five, even though my ALT (which for those of you not in the know yet is part of the liver function tests and should be below 35) doubled over the weekend from 71 to 141.  Doubling is not good.  I am nervous about tomorrow's blood test results.

The lack of stability and forward planning options are starting to get to me.  I want to book our favourite bed and breakfast place in Dunsborough, Newberry Manor, but on the weekend I thought, no I should just wait and see what the doctors say on Monday at my appointments and see what the blood test results are.  And then after talking to them on Monday, now I have to wait and see what Wednesday's results are before booking.  And then depending on what they say then I will have to wait until Friday's and we want to go down south on Friday straight after my morning blood test.

*sigh*



In good news however, because life is not all woe is me, my income protection money finally kicked in, only 7 months after I stopped working (but we won't go there), and I got a big lump sum back pay.  Lovely.  I also got told I could finish up on two of my medications so now I am down to 8 tablets in the morning and 7 at night, seems like so few - oh how times change!  I got free tickets to the West Australia Ballet for tomorrow through the Leukaemia Foundation, although it is a lunchtime show so I am going solo as I couldn't find anyone interested and free at that time.  And in particularly good news, my new leukaemia meds haven't caused any nausea (touch wood) and while I have been waking up with a headache every morning and puffy eyes, those side effects are manageable and the fatigue side of things hasn't been too bad either.  I've also started doing a bit of babysitting/tutoring once a week for a few hours with a 3 year old boy who has some speech delays.  Right up my alley! So it has been nice hanging with kids again and planning some ideas and using my brain in a workish sort of way.  Providing everything is stable I'll be heading back to work next term, just one day a week to start off with and then if I feel up to it I'll put my name down for relief.  


So fingers crossed for tomorrow's blood test results.  Big hopes there too.