is what my blog seems to have reinvented itself as lately.
This weekend was what most people would probably call a fairly quiet one but in my current world classified as a bit of a busy one. I went to bed early on Friday and slept half of the day Saturday, getting up in time to eat some toast and read for a couple of hours before getting ready to head down to to Dwellingup for our belated Father's Day Hotham Valley dinner train ride.
Sadly, it did not live up even closely to my anticipations. I tried to keep in mind that it is run by volunteers but when the rest of the carriage (bar 3 tables) was a loud 40th and our table with a party of three got an extra previously unknown person from the big party sat at our table with us (?!) when we were trying to have a nice family dinner it was a bit weird. Added to the fact that it was $77 per person and the main course roast beef was that really thinly sliced roast beef stuff that you buy and heat up and put in roast beef rolls, essentially cold sliced meat from the deli section of the supermarket that had been warmed up. Not so impressed. I certainly wouldn't be able to recommend it to anyone. I reverted to childhood on the way back and slipped off half of my seatbelt in the back seat and lay down and dozed for the hour and a half trip back to Perth.
Today I slept in again, got up and had more toast and read for a couple of hours until it was time to get ready for Brown Owls (except I fell asleep on the couch and ran a bit late). I started and almost finished square 27 of 30 in the pink granny rug. I'm glad I went but I really would have been just as happy snoozing on the couch.
I think I have reached that point of exhaustion where I am just going through the motions. I go to work, I pretend to be perky and energetic for the students for a few hours, come home and bomb on the couch. I am getting through each day by counting down to the weekend so I can just sleep. I'm sure that's not really what weekends are supposed to be about. Blogging has gone out the window a bit, my life feels very boring and I am now too tired to even be tired of being tired. It is all a bit ridiculous really.
I contacted the Leukaemia Foundation who mailed out some stuff about their support groups. Which seem to be very few and far inbetween and are on weekdays during the day time. Helpful. And I joined the CML Alliance from a flyer in my medication packet who sent me out a booklet filled with photos of people with grey hair enjoying life playing lawn bowls (because I have an old peoples disease and so most of them are old) They gave me details of a nurse I can ring to ask questions. But only on Monday to Friday from 8.30 - 4.30 EST. Seeing as I am not going to get up at 6.30am just to make a phone call to ask a question this is also fairly unhelpful. And my specialist never called me back after I phoned to leave a message for her to call me after my eye bled. I'm feeling a bit invisible.
Two weeks until holidays. The countdown til school holidays is my mantra at the moment. Until then I might be a bit absent from my blog unless something interesting happens in my life (unlikely). I'll still be around living life through reading your blogs though!
Oh. The reason for this post, other than to let those people who asked me to let them know about the train ride was to say that my giveaway winner is Wendy from A Beautiful Day. Congrats Wendy, I'll email you to get your details.
4 comments:
Wendy will be very chuffed.
You poor thing, that train ride dinner seems very inappropriately seated. What were they thinking?? I hope you are writing a letter to say how disappointed you are??
I talked to my psychologist about how I don't fit into the normal Leukaemia age group for the diseases, and it sounds lie you are a bit like that too: an outsider. Maybe you need to stamp your feet or get someone else to stamp their feet for you?? I hope you can hold out till the holidays.
I love that you are almost at the last square for your rug, how exciting!!! Take care.
Do you know, I am feeling a similar way. Except I have no medical excuse! I got absolutely nothing done all weekend. I am unmotivated at work- and make lots of mistakes because I just want to finish up there. As a fairly lazy/simple person, this year, I think I have just taken too many different things on so when there is a spare moment, instead of using it in a way that is both fun and productive (like craft or hanging out with friends!), I just cant be bothered then beat myself up over it. Not good! Next year I am aiming for one main focus.
However, all that talk about myself doesn't help you! You will eventually get past this crap... hopefully when the weather warms up and you can spend some time outside (in your new garden)!
I am so glad that you did make it to Brown Owls... it is great to get to know you more and in person.
The train ride did sound a bit ridiculous - particularly for the price paid - and you forgot to write here how pathetic the spot lights were. I'm so glad you told us about it.
If there is no suitable group for you then at least chat to your GP about finding a counsellor... at least that way you can "off load" lots of your thoughts/feelings to a stranger without feeling all guilty about it or feeling a need to censor yourself about what you say (ect ect).
Remember too that teachers are ALWAYS tired at this time of year - sick or not... O yeah... and you're not in your twenties anymore (couldn't help myself with that little jibe! - sorry!)
One week + four school days to holidays now ... YAY!
I'm sorry you're feeling so blah at the moment it seems sometimes difficult to get out of the rut and get over that down feeling. I hope that when the holidays come around you get a chance to do something fun that lifts your spirit, something that you know will make you happy. Take care. xo
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