Wednesday, 14 March 2012

Funny Shit Your Kids Say (or do)

So, I'm stuck in hospital and need some entertainment.  I was over at Suburban Sonnet, reading a funny story about something her daughter said and a bit earlier in the evening I was reading Sally's funny recount about her son's audition for River Dance at the doctor's surgery that is still making me giggle.  It brought to mind a couple of funny stories from school.  I may have posted about one before but I definitely haven't about the other.

So I decided, I want everyone to tell me, either in comment or in a post and put a link in the comments, a funny story, or two or three, about their children.  This will keep me entertained for hours.  And possibly make the nurses think I have gone crazy but that is a small price to pay.

Funny child story number one. (Name changed)

The kindy kids were in a bad habit of coming back inside after playtime and emptying their shoes out onto the carpet.  I had told them individually to empty them into the bin when I spotted a culprit in action but it eventually got so bad I spoke to the class as a whole about how dirty it was getting in here on the carpet and how our nice toys would be ruined and the cleaners would be cross. Maybe a week or so later we're all outside playing and I see a boy run from the sandpit to the classroom, about 50m away, and go inside.  He's just going to the toilet, I think.  He comes out a few minutes later holding his shoes and sits down to put them back on.
"Are you alright Freddy?" I ask.

"Yeah." he says. "I was just emptying my shoes, there was sand in them."

"... ... Okay, good boy..." I managed with a semi straight face before moving out of his eyesight, telling my EA and crying with laughter.  We were laughing for days over that one. 

Funny child story number two. More cute than funny really.
NB. Banana must be pronounced ba-nanna (nanna as is grandma)

I had a boy in kindy one year who had a few undiagnosed developmental delays.  He was a lovely child, always so happy and smiley but he struggled a lot and didn't have a very large vocabulary when he came in.

Everyday he would have a banana in his lunchbox which he would bring over to be opened because he couldn't do it.  Fine, most kids struggle with bananas.  But instead of asking he would just jam it in my face.  This was okay to begin with, I tried to help by modeling the language he could use.
"Oh, it's a banana," I would say.  "Would you like me to open it for you?"
"Yes please" he would reply.  He had beautiful manners.
So I would open it and off he would trot to eat his banana.
Over time I started to not say anything.  He would hold the banana out and I would look at it and look at him.
"It's a banana." he would say, like it was a big surprise and all wonderful-like.
"Yes, it is a banana."
"It's yellow."
"You're right, it is yellow."
Then he would stand there for as long as I let him, just staring at me and the banana.  No idea what to say next.  So I would ask him if he needed help opening it.  After a bit longer doing this I tried again.
"It's a banana." - still excited about it.
"Yes, it is a banana."
"It's a BIG banana."
"You're right, it is a big banana today."
"Is it for me?" I ask.
"Noooo!" he giggles.
"Do you want me to do something to it?" I prompt.  He nods.
"What do you want me to do to it?"
There would be an utterly perplexed look on his face for a few seconds and then, all excitedly,
"It's a BANANA!"

I wish I could have recorded how excited he sounded about the banana, it was priceless.  Loses a bit in translation though.

So, now it's your turn.  I'm ready!!


Anonymous said...

A bit late considering you are no longer in hospital... but one of the 6 year olds in my swimming class told me at the end of the lesson that we were "ripping him off because the lessons cost $4.50". haha. Obviously straight from his parents' mouth!

Anonymous said...

Oh! And another one that isn't as funny- on a relief day Wednesday just gone in a year 2 class, one of the little girls in the class called out 'I know who you are!' when I asked how she knew me she said 'You're the lady that parks the cars at the Kalamunda show!'.


Hmm. I had to let her down gently.

2paw said...

Out of the mouths of babes!!! They are endlessly amusing!!

ANB said...

The banana story is priceless. E also tries the diversion tactic if I ask her something to which she doesn't know the answer. For some reason she has trouble with the word "horse" (despite being able to name just about every other animal under the sun) and if asked something like "what animal is that" she will answer with something revelatory like "brown one", "has a tail" etc.

Sally said...

Here are some from this weekend...
(1) E says "I wish I could be the Easter bunny - but I can't because [sad pause] I'm not a bunny"
(2) E: "how lovely to have the word 'strawberry' & the word 'cake' in your name"